plz talk dirty to me
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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