We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
