are you so shy because you have an std?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
