please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
