sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
