honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
