ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
