Cold hands, warm shart.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize