Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
