if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
