she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
