I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
