if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
