i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
