Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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