At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
