Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
