I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
honey bunches of taint.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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