i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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