were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
