so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
