I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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