Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
