Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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