So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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