my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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