Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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