I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
