So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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