I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You need a sexual gate keeper
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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