I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
