Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
