I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
