Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
