who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
