so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
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