You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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