My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Why did my mother make you get naked?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
