Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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