I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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