And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
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