im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize