God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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