He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
