anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I need a beard to bite.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
