Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize