OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
