so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
honey bunches of taint.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
