i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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