the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
