ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
vagina is talking i cant
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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