Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
