i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
