sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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