I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
