Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
