need another drink. this is the easiest way
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
