There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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