Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
