All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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